-*Allison*-'s Journal

10:31pm: ummm...
Dear Alice,
I've been going out with my boyfriend for almost 5 months and I love him very much. We get along great and enjoy spending time together. However, sometimes I feel like we spend too much time together. I barely have time for work and school and still make him happy. If I tell him I'm busy he says he's okay with it, but later he gets mad at me for not making enough time for him and doesn't think I'm as committed to our relationship as he is.

This especially bothers me because I have pretty much lost my three best friends. They were never really crazy about him to begin with, but I didn't expect them to be best friends too. Ever since we have been going out, they do not ask me to do anything, yet I haven't really asked them to do anything either. I want to know how I can explain to him that even though I like spending time with him, I need time for other friends too. I don't plan on breaking up with my boyfriend, but if I did I'm afraid my friends wouldn't take me back. I want to be able to make time for both.



Dear Reader,

Nurturing and maintaining existing friendships when love comes to town can be hard. Do these sayings, "He swept me off my feet!" or "He rocked my world!" sound familiar? It's common for people tend to get a little disoriented and distracted when they fall in love.

Would you believe that you're running into a very common relationship difficulty?

Very few people have a natural knack for maintaining great friendships and a serious relationship. Instead, people often learn through experiences, like the ones you are having now. It seems that the steps you might consider taking will involve introspection, conversations, and a lot of practice.

First, as you've already done, it's important to clarify relationship priorities. As you think about what's important to you, consider the amount of time you have to spend with your friends and boyfriend. What is reasonable? How do you like spending time with them? What is the balance that will give you the time to do everything you 'need' to do and the things you 'want' to do?

Second, it'll help you and them to talk it out. Consider inviting your friends and boyfriend into one-on-one conversations with you about your and their relationship priorities. You might want to begin each conversation by telling them how much they mean to you. Also, they may be more interested if you tell them that you want to talk about things that will improve your relationships. You can encourage them to be honest and open by the way you speak and through your body language. By maintaining open body posture (open arms, un-crossed legs, a slight lean toward them) you communicate open-ness. By listening more than you talk, you convey genuine concern and care. As you and your friends/boyfriend share your inner thoughts and feelings, you will become closer and learn what's important to each other.

After priorities are made clear (including time for school and work) and you have some good talks… it'll be time to practice walking the walk. You might feel a little pull at your heart when you go to hang out with friends, as opposed to your boyfriend. Yet, as you know, it's important to stay connected and follow-through with your promises to yourself and your friends. As you act on your new commitments, it'll help to keep lines of communication going with your boyfriend and friends. Consider checking in with them to see if you they are satisfied with the time you spend with them and the way you spend it.

While it's hard to learn new ways of thinking and being, you and your relationships will be better off because of your willingness to do so. It's great that you want to work on ways to mend your friendships while still having the time and energy for school, work, and your boyfriend

3:12pm: i get these emails..
i get these emails from astrology.com or something of that variation. any who..its a dream decoder, and it sends a different symbolism like todays, was chasing someone. and yesterday, was candles. but i really don't think that my brain subconsciously uses symbolism. i really don't think sleepy allison is trying to tell awake allison to "read the clues" and figure out whats going on!
i don't buy it

but i still will read it everyday.

11:50pm: so i've had my fair share of unsexy maladies that i'd like to make a list of:

-wart on the sole of my foot
-mono
-hives
-strep throat

and now..a sty! or is it stye?

it's an awesome eye infection or glorifed pimple it looks like i got punched in the face though, my whole eye is swollen and red.
so i spent the day looking for a doc who would see me so i can get precriptions. so through this ordeal i realized how important health insurance is! you really need it! before my lack of insurance, it was go to the dr you know and love and pay a 10 doller co-payment. now it's um we can't treat you, or 200 bucks please.
i haggled with the ol' eye dr to get him down to 100. but that's ridiculous. i should have went into health care. he was there with me for 5 mins, told me what i already knew and gave me a prescripition for anti-botics. what a racket! and then drove away in his lexus.

fuck..
not having health insurance makes me bitter

12:15am: i knew it i fuckin knew it
i took a self assesment quiz on monster, and the jobs that i was thinking about were there!

Personality Type is INFP:

* Psychologist
* Human resources professional
* Physical therapist
* Researcher
* Translator / interpreter
* Legal mediator
* Employee development specialist
* College professor: humanities
* Massage therapist
* Social worker
* Librarian
* Fashion designer
* Editor / art director
so there everyone who says i shouldn't be a librarian, screw you and yours.. :)

1:47pm: before i go to do something really important i tend to dance in front of my mirrors in my living room for an extended period of time.

4:46pm: is depression the disease of the idle? when one has time to reflect, doesn't it resort to feeling sorry for yourself.

10:35pm: i got a C- in my micro theory class and it fucks up my whole schedual for next semester! what the fuck am i going to do. the classes require that i got a C in this class. can i still take them?? it's giving me a heart attack. can i do my internship ??? what the fuck.

8:09am: finals.

suck.
my huge. cock.

3am.

it is.
microtheory is still not in my head
final at 2pm

must return book at library by 9am

should i sleep?

3:02am: i'm stressed
i'm really really stressed.
It's not fair to have FOUR papers due next week and THREE presentations. It's NOT.
M: QOL paper 20pages
THURSday: QOL presenation. ENVI Planning presentation ENVI planning group paper due. These presenations are supposed to be really long and the research extensive.
FRiday: FIN. ECON group presenation and paper due.

Tomorrow: i have Two group meeting were i should be providing work that i've done. and i'm not ready. One is at 7 off campus and i don't have a way to get there. and i have TM for two hours.


FUCK
i'm really freaked out.

10:07pm: hehe
What do you mean, you "Don't believe in homosexuality" ? It's not
like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.
-- Lea DeLaria

3:51pm: ew
I can SMELL the cholorine in the binghamton tap water. wow. it smells like pool water.

12:06pm: (Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.  (my lady)	✓ I don't watch much TV these days.  (only after 1am)	× I own lots of books.  (i get them from the library)
✓ I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	× I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	✓ I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
× I curse sometimes.  (nope..all the time)	× I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

( it goes on... )

10:12pm: i hate being home alone at night. My dad works 24 hour shifts, but this is the first time i've been alone for the night in a while. And all the sudden i'm five again, and this house has aged 100 years, everything is making sounds, creeking noises, and the dog is barking at the darkness.
i hate being home alone at night.

12:23am: i love being busy.


i'm going to miss this play when it's over.. :(

3:25pm: i feel compelled to write.
I just started reading an amazing book entitled "White Noise" by Don Delillo and i recommend it for anyone that has observed everyday life and experiences with an outside perspective it's facinating.
the whole book is quotable. For example the main character and his friend go to visit the most photographed barn in the world and the friend says "Being here is a kind of spiritual surrender. We see only what the others see. The thousands who were here in the past, those who will come in the future. We've agreed to be part of a collective perception. This literally colors our vision. A religious experience in a way, like all tourism."

I've heard the idea of tourism described only negativivly before, and how photographs make the place loose it's aura and how the experience isn't as great, because many people have experienced that same place before. But the prior description makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

1:09am: It's time to turn your attention toward pursuits that are worthy of your time, skills and talents. Pay attention to quality, and be willing to wait until the right pursuit finds you. You can afford to be choosy.


a fuckin men yahoo astrology!

of course the second i think of being my creative self again, you tell me. that i should be.
im probably reading too much into it. but...bascially the stars are telling me to paint a wildflower field on my wall. Yup. i think it's what it's saying...hellz yeah

9:32pm: they don't call it a "crush" for nothing.

9:23pm: i hate boys...they are really dumb.

12:39am: june...
the days are getting longer, i can feel it. it doesn't feel good.

1:10am: i've been having a fabulous time!!!!!!! treblemaking tour, family bbq today...mets game tomorrow...just good times

12:23am: .........
my life is a series of awkward encounters.

12:37am: really everytime i need to write a paper for school i go crazy. i become mentally unstable for significant periods of time.

8:40pm: it's really an outlet for all my hot air...fiizzz
it's a "blog" or journal and i write what i think. maybe someone comments and says it's entertaining but really keeping a real life paper journal is a waste of trees and i have a tendency to lose things.

i got an adorable hair cut :) that's all i want to say.

8:49pm: bummer
i found out today my crush was 29 and smokes...eww

8:47pm: i'm not very good at dealing with things that i don't want to hear. so i say the wrong thing, like yesterday i'm sure. or today i get sad/angry and refuse to speak to u like today.

so..damn it. i suck.